Friday 29 February 2008

Put your hands up for Melbourne, I love this City

Due to the fact that I love Melbourne so much, this is going to be a long post. So cancel your appointments for the rest of the day.
My 4 days in Melbourne began on Friday at 4am, boarding my flight totally crook with a Cold. A chauffeur picked us up from Melbourne Airport and off we go to the Hotel.
After the usual walking around to check out the sites, it was time to party. We stopped in at a Bottle-o to pick up some wine then we proceeded to find a BYO restaurant. The end result was a Chinese restaurant with all you can eat yum char; we struck a gold mine. So there we were at 1pm eating dumplings while playing rock/paper/scissors for drinks. People were giving us weird looks but that didn’t stop us having a good time. We stumbled out of the restaurant at 3pm.

The great thing about Melbourne is that there is a bottle-o on every street so we had to make the most of them. The poison of choice was Jim Beam & Cola and vodka-red bull style energy drinks. I didn’t think we looked too suspicious walking down the street with a plastic bag of alcohol in one hand and some kind of highlighted orange vodka can in the other. While making our way to the casino, we found a nice spot under a weird sculpture and decided to crack open the Jim Beams. As I went for a swig of my JB, Lynchy stopped me and said “We can’t let people see that we are drinking in public, you have to peel the labels off”. So Lynchy sat patiently and spent 10 mins peeling the Jim Beam labels off then he puts the bottle into a brown paper bag! A brown paper bag! That was possibly the dumbest call of the day. Alcohol has killed off 100 of his brain cells and now he is on -50.
We made our way to the Casino’s bar at 5:30pm, I was surprised they even let us in with our trendy dress code of shorts & t-shirt and smelling like giant shrimp dumplings soaked in bourbon.

8pm rocked around and it was time to depart the casino and to the TelstraDome to watch the Essendon bombers take on the Western Bulldog’s. This was my first Aussie Rules game so I was very excited. Aussie Rules is a mixture of Rugby, football and a bit of boxing by the looks of it. It’s such an intense game. The typical shenanigans occurred at the game. A lot of shit talk along with watered down mid strength beers.
After the game, we spent about half an hour in some weird French restaurant with a bunch of Frenchies. For the whole half an hour, he kept asking where about in Japan I was from. His French ascent was hilarious.

Frenchie: eh, where in Yapan you from?

Anyway, the night ended in an Irish pub with Karaoke.

We went to Lynchy’s mates place on Saturday after having to check-out of the Hotel at 10am and boy was I feeling seedy. I spent the day sleeping on the couch while they were playing Madden 2008 on the PS3.
After waking up feeling fresh it was time to pick up a case of Asahi from the bottle-o. I love beer, I love lamp.
We went out for dinner to a Thai restaurant called Cookie. Cookie?! I was expecting a name like Phuket Inn or Taste of Thailand. The beer and wine list were 60 pages each! They had alcoholic beverages from all around the world.
The even had Tui for $8.50 but I opted for a bottle of Monteith’s Pilsner. We were all having a great time when all of a sudden Lynchy spilt a whole glass of beer on Kirron’s lap (pronounces Kieran). I was getting a sore jaw from laughing too much.

Kirron used to model/catwalk so he’s kind of a big deal. Sort of like Derek Zoolander. He took us to a club called Boutique in South Yarra. The only way to get into this bar is if you knew the guy running the place. I felt very privileged so I did not charge my appearance fee.
The next destination was Prince with the One Love crew on the decks.
The place was packed; there must have been about 700 people there. We decided to call it a night at 4am and munched on a souvlaki (Greek kebab) on the way home. At 4:30am, Kirron walked through the door, stood there for about 2 minutes then said “Let’s go back to Prince” By this time, Lynchy was passed out on the bed and snoring with his eyes open. We managed to wake him up and he went back out with Kirron.
I on the other hand could not stomach anymore beers nor was I able to keep my eyes open. Bedtime for me.

We spent Sunday walking around the city with minimal words spoken. The alcohol was starting to catch up on us.
This post has taken me 3 nights to write and I end it by saying

“Put your hands up for Melbourne, I love this City”

Drinking in Public – 6.6 MB

At the game (Don’t remember recording this) – 7.6 MB

Sexy Bomber’s supporter - 7.6 MB






Kiss from a girl on orientation week







Go the Bombers!








Male models likes to dance with rakes







Photoshoot for Esquire magazine







Couldn't hold it in any longer









Wasted!

Wednesday 13 February 2008

Boredom

Well it's Wednesday night and I am feeling very bored and lazy at the same time.
Lynchy just rung and we are trying to figure out what to do. Below are our options:

a) Go for dinner
b) Let loose

Those are the only things we came up with. Maybe I'll enrol in a pot making class or some shit like that, I dont know. I've decided, going to have dinner then take some photos. How lame.
Videos below of my Coffs trip in order.

Crowd at Suncorp Stadium - 2.5 MB

Coffs Harbour, here we come - 3.4 MB

White boy freestylin - 1.6 MB

Looseness - 4.6 MB

Wakey Wakey - 0.6 MB

Tuesday 12 February 2008

Victorious Queensland and road trip to Coffs Harbour

Friday night started off with dinner at a Chinese restaurant and as we started walking toward Suncorp stadium, it started raining cats and dogs. This was not the typical light gloomy shower, it was a downpour.
Since we all lost each other and had no tickets to enter the premise, we all got drenched. We all smelt like wet dogs. The best way to keep warm was to re-hydrate ourselves with overpriced and watered down stadium beers; which worked a treat.
After the game, we went to a 25th birthday party and more looseness eventuated.

By the time I got to sleep, it was 3am. At around 4am, Lynchy picked me up so we can make our 4+ hour’s journey to Coffs Harbour NSW.
The drive was painful, although I did sleep through half the journey.
Coffs Harbour is best known for its banana growing industry, beautiful coastline and of course surfs. It was time to get on the body board for the first time with a 101 crash course from Lynchy. After nearly drowning and swallowing about 5 litres of water, I called it quits. I did manage to catch a wicked wave which I rode for about 50 metres. There’s just so much more to body boarding than just kicking. You have to angle your board when riding a wave, learning to duck dive properly, getting familiar with surfing ethics and finally getting the F*ck out of the way of others. I must have looked like a baby seal bobbing up and down in the water while speed boats are trying carefully to dodge me.
We started drinking at 2pm as it was extremely hot. The heat burns like Wellington but at 30 degrees although not humid like Brisbane weather.
Some of the activities during the night were nudie runs, beer pong and white boys raping.

The 5 of us ended up sleeping under a small tar-pole. At 8am, we knew it was time to get up as we were getting sun burnt and off to Hungry Jacks (Australian Burger King) for breakfast. We ate like homeless people getting their first meal. The lads decided to have a food fight. Fries, buns to gherkins were thrown. I felt sorry for the workers that had to clean up after us.
When we arrived back at the house, everyone was so hung over and ended up passing out under the tar-pole. Sleeping under the tar-pole sounded like a great idea; shielding ourselves from the melanoma causing sun but the tarp actually acted like a magnify glass! For the 2 hours we laid there all I could hear was “It’s so Hot!” or “Damn it’s Hot!” or “Where is Lynchy, it’s damn Hot!”. Everyone was so hammered that we wouldn’t even walk 5 metres into the house.

All and all the trip was great and it’s another location to tick off.
I took a lot of photos as usual and about 5 video clips. Will post the clips once I have resized them

Coffs Harbour rocks!

Sam





Soaked but still having a great time







37,000 people








It's my birthday, honest








Minnie Driver and Mylan








Lynchy doing a nudie run

Friday 8 February 2008

Quiet Night………..Yeah right!

So about 5mins after my last update, I got invited to a Chinese New Year celebration out in the suburbs. Food, theme park rides and alcohol, I couldn’t say No. Vietnamese food + VB + tea cup ride = bad news.
Since we are drinking VB, we decided to play a rough drinking game with cards; Red or Black. This is probably the worst game but everyone was happy, well at least Cresswell and I were.
I’m not exactly tall, but at this event, I was a tower……yes a tower. The next day, I’m back to being short, ah well it was fun while it lasted.

I’m going to watch the A-League soccer semi-finals between Queensland Roar and Sydney FC tomorrow. It should be a great game.
Also off to Coffs Harbour NSW on Saturday. It’s a 5 hour drive so I hope I can handle the journey after a night out.

The lads and I have been taking the mickey by posing like Japanese tourist with the whole peace thing they do with their fingers but after looking through my album, I have noticed a lot of photos are adapting this pose. What have I done? Have I managed to mould the sillyness of Japanese poses into my world class photography? The next time someone gives me a peace sign, I'm gonna punch them in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.

Will update on my return from Coffs Harbour.
Have a good trip back to NZ Cresswell

Sam





I am going to eat your kids







I love the c*ck








Japanese Exchange students from England and Greece








Cresswell, I am going to punch you in the ovaries

Saturday 2 February 2008

Short Video Clips

I decided to have a low key weekend for once and so far, it’s been pretty good.
Nathan Perigo came around today; it was good to catch up with him after 4 years. After going through my camera, I managed to find some video clips. So I decided to upload them for all to see (Some are lame, but meh).

Lynchy regurgitating after a night out on the piss – 6.8 MB

Poor attempt at throwing a waterbomb – 4.4 MB

Driving at 0 km/h – 2.8 MB

Giant bunsen burners in Melbourne – 1.6 MB